helpdesk?

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a
distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable
programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed
undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Sailing and Continuous
TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no
avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

....................................................................................................

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package,
while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http:
I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed,
Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers,
but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence,
Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background
that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.



In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have

limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends

to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying

additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend

Food and Hot Lingerie.



Good Luck,



Tech Support